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Describing People

Describe six different people, using two descriptive words each: a woman, a man, a boy, a girl, you and me. Ex. The boy is young and tall.

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mishaikh
Yesterday I went to the park for jogging. While jogging, I was observing the people around me. There was a woman who was also walking, though she was fat and short, but walking in a steady way. I also saw a man tall and thin, he was skipping. There were other boys and girls doing different activities. A young and beautiful boy was practicing jumping over the bar. Besides him was a girl just sitting seemed to be the boy’s sister, though she was also young but not as beautiful as the boy. I also met my friend there. He was doing some exercise. “Hey Faizi, you are hard worker but not doing exercise properly” “Look at me I was fat and ugly, but by proper exercise and jogging I have made myself smart”.
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Submitted: 2008-08-16 09:21:40



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  • 2008-08-16 11:00:28
    Sarah Emmanuel
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    Hi mishaikh, Very well put. Now some correction: "...There were other boys and girls doing different activities..." Now you are saying that "There was a woman who was also walking,.." and till yet you just have introduced yourself AND you were not walking, --- you were jogging (running) :) Besides him was a girl just sitting seemed to be the boy’s sister Better: a girl was sitting just besides him seemed to be... you are hard worker but not doing exercise properly”
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  • 2008-08-16 23:23:28
    Linda
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    "There was a woman who was walking in a steady way, even though she was fat and short." The "also" is incorrect because the woman is the only one who is walking. The "in a steady way" belongs in the beginning of the sentence because it is describing the walking that is in the beginning of the sentence. "I also saw a tall and thin man who was skipping." Just some awkward wording. "Sitting beside him was a girl who seemed to be the boy's sister. She was also young, but not as beautiful as the boy." More awkward wording. "Hey Faizi, you are a hard worker, but you are not doing the exercise properly. Look at me: I was fat and ugly, but by proper exercise and jogging I have made myself thing and beautiful." Although saying "I have made myself smart" is not grammatically incorrect, it does not make sense in reference to the situation. You want something opposite of the previous statement when saying "but." Smart is not exactly the opposite of fat and ugly. You could also say that exercising is a smart decision. Very good job overall!
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  • 2008-08-17 02:52:59
    mishaikh
    Thank you very much Linda for your comments mishaikh
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  • 2008-08-17 08:04:25
    Lorraine
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    Hi mishaikh, well done :) My corrections to your exercise: Yesterday I went to the park to job. While jogging, I observed the people around me. There was a woman who was walking steadily, although she was fat and short. I also saw a man who was tall and thin, he was skipping. There were other boys and girls doing different activities. A young and handsome boy was practicing jumping over the bar. Beside him was a girl who was just sitting. She seemed to be the boy’s sister. Though she was also young, she was not as beautiful as the boy. I also met my friend there. He was doing some exercise. “Hey Faizi, you are a hard worker but not doing the exercise properly” “Look at me I was fat and ugly, but by proper exercise and jogging I have made myself fit”.
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  • 2008-08-17 12:07:15
    mishaikh
    Thanks Lorraine.
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